Mounted Combat with both Mount and Rider Scripting

I think I’ve got a handle on how mounted combat works for horses and other unintelligent mounts- you make a Ride check before combat, and if successful you get to use the mounts Stride and Speed for positioning, Speed for Avoiding, and Power for Charges. The Rider can help those rolls with Riding, and some weapons also get a benefit in mounted combat.

But when both the mount is intelligent enough to work out coordinated strategies with their rider, like a Giant Wolf or Spider, and especially when the mount is played by a second player and they are scripting separately, I’m having a harder time figuring out how things should work.
-I assume the mount decides who they are positioning against and makes the roll. The rider can help with Riding.
-Can both the rider and mount strike simultaneously? What happens if their weapons have different lengths, in the case where one of them has advantage or neither of them does?
-How would they script an avoid or charge with the rider helping with Riding? Would they both script Avoid/Charge? Can the rider do anything else while the mount avoids/charges? If so do they still benefit defensively from the avoid?
-If they successfully charge they can gain advantage with either the mount or the rider’s weapon, right?
-More generally, what are some smart tactics to a rider-mount team should be using? Should the mount usually be avoiding while the rider strikes?