Hello everyone, I am about to play in my first game of burning empires (as run by pip, who posted some threads below) and I am having a little trouble with my character’s beliefs and instincts. Can I get people’s opinions and some help please?
My character is a politician and erstwhile president of the commune on a High index military capital world. The first conflict look likely to be a bouncing baby civil war between the commune and the pilotry, which the players are hoping to avert.
Beliefs:
1)Shinten Zhang Orat Mossten (A GMFoN who recently won an election against me and is now the commune president, but is an old friend) is a good man, regardless of our political opposition. He will listen to me and find reason before he plunges our world into a civil war.
Technology, Wealth, Citizens. From these are power forged, and by these I will return to my place as first speaker.
My lover (a lord-pilot anvil turned professional soldier) has suffered enough because of her affiliation with me. I will allow nothing to harm her and stop at nothing to protect her.
Instincts:
Use my datatbase ( a piece of tech I have implanted and paid for) to scan everyone I meet.
When presented with a problem, throw technology, wealth or underlings at it untill it goes away.
Keep my lover with me whenever it is possible, I need her council.
Pick one and then be specific: My first step back on the path to power will be to…(urge the common people to support me in the election of blah blah blah)
Hot!
I think you’ll need to tighten that one up a bit. Specify a problem you really don’t want to deal with and indicate what you’ll use to solve it.
It looks like you’ve got a seed here, but you need to tighten it up. You need to make it as action-oriented as possible. What’s he doing that is going to plunge the world into civil war? What is it that you want to convince him to stop doing? Try this on for size:
Shinten Zhang Orat Mossten is a good man, regardless of our political opposition. I will convince him to stop _____ before he plunges our world into a civil war.
Technology, Wealth, Citizens. From these are power forged, and by these I will return to my place as first speaker.
This one is basically there and probably doesn’t need to be changed. But I might reword it just to make sure it keeps me focused in play:
Power is forged from technology, wealth, citizens. I will use all the power at my disposal to win back my place as first speaker.
My lover (a lord-pilot anvil turned professional soldier) has suffered enough because of her affiliation with me. I will allow nothing to harm her and stop at nothing to protect her.
This one is a bit ephemeral. What’s putting her in danger? What are you going to protect her against? Make it actionable! That’s how you’ll earn Persona points.
Instincts:
Use my datatbase ( a piece of tech I have implanted and paid for) to scan everyone I meet.
This one’s pretty good. I would simply make it:
Always scan everyone I meet.
When presented with a problem, throw technology, wealth or underlings at it untill it goes away.
No offense, but this is a terrible instinct. It’s way too broad and doesn’t tell you what you’re going to do about the problems you face. Get as specific as you can. Use a specific problem and a specific solution.
Keep my lover with me whenever it is possible, I need her council.
Great! I would tighten it to:
Belief 1:
It has an ideology (Shinten is a good man), but the action itself isn’t very clear. You’ve stated the intent (he’ll come around and listen to you). It would probably be better if you stated it in terms of a task or action on your part. “I’ll convince/persuade him a war is not in the world’s interest”. You could also make it more personal, “I’ll use my friendship to convince him a war is a bad for us all.”
This seems like something you can tackle immediately in a DoW. He’s a friend, so I assume he’s a relationship, so getting him to talk isn’t a problem.
Belief 2:
This one seems to basically be: “Circles, Resources and Affiliations make the world go round. I’ll use them to get back in power”. It’s not really doing much for me or the story. How about you focus on one of those and give it a particular moral/ethical twist?
For example, you could focus on it in a Machiavellic sort of way: “Power, Wealth and connections create power. I will (ab)use all three, no matter the cost, to get back to power.”
Belief 3:
This one seems fine as is. Only comments I could offer would be in regards to making it more succinct. But it works.
It does leave me wondering if the best course of action, given the ideology (she’s suffered because she’s affiliated to me), would be to distance yourself from her. In other words, losing the affiliation would solve your problem, as that is what the ideology seems to imply. Is that how your character sees it? You’ve brought her nothing but trouble? Or people make trouble for her because they want to get to you?
Instincts are cool, except for 2, which seems like a rehash of Belief 2. It basically seems to say: “I’ll roll Circles, Resources whenever a complication arises.” Too broad in my humble opinion.
Plus, now that you mention it if you mix this up with Belief 3, where it seems to imply that Stephen’s character is a bad influence on his lover, then him going all out for power can lead to conflicting beliefs 2 vs 3.
The GM’s enmity clauses could focus on making life hard for his lover. On resource rolls Stephen could get helping dice from the lover and on a failed resource roll she’ll be taxed. He could even try doing this behind her back by lying, stealing or hacking into her accounts.
Even if things don’t go wrong the increased profile as he gains more power will fuel belief 3’s premise. And she’ll become a juicer target for those opposing him. The GM will know to strike at her to get to him.
And he’ll have this epic inner struggle: “get power at all costs” vs “protect her”.
Thanks for the quick replies guys, that was great. So To try again:
1)Shinten Zhang Orat Mossten (A GMFoN who recently won an election against me and is now the commune president, but is an old friend) is a good man, regardless of our political opposition. I will make him stop attempting to rouse the commune against the pilotry since this is certain to plunge our world into a civl war.
(remembered this one and it seems more actionable and draws me in interesting ways with both a pcFon and a gmFoN)
The nobilty is a valuable thing, but it’s place is not to rule. They should be fighting the worm wherever it lies. I will use my influence to support their needs for materiel, but I will stop their recent grab for political power (Thats… too long isn’t it?)
Because of her realtionship with me my lover was disowned by her family, and is an outcaste from the lord’s pilot. She has suffered enough. I will use all my power and influcence to see she no one will hurt her again and she regains her rightful place.
Instincts:
Scan everyone I meet (thanks thor)
Keep my lover with me whenever I can
3)When a weapon is pulled, dive for cover. I am no soldier.
I think you’ve got a good concept of what’s important to your character. The Beliefs just need some specifics.
This one’s easy. What does your character want Mossten to do?
Sample B1: Mossten is an old friend and a good man who will listen to me. I will convince him to grant the Pilotry the Blockade Exception they seek in order to avoid civil war.
How will your character use Tech, Wealth, and Citizens to return to power? How will he gain the Tech, Wealth, and Citizens in the first place?
Sample B2: Power comes from the People. I will convince the Council members, as representatives of the People, to impeach and remove the current First Speaker so that I may take his place.
You and your GM will have a lot of fun with this one. Be prepared for the lover’s life to be on the line all the time! I’d add a little more–what’s threatening her?
Sample B3: My lover suffers because my enemies, the Pilotry, attack me through her. I will send the Chief of the Pilots a warning by holding at risk that which he holds most dear, his daughter [if you really mean he’ll stop at nothing.]
But you can also try something else–
Sample B3: My lover suffers because my enemies, the Pilotry, attack me through her. Although I love her, I will end the relationship so that her life will be safe.
I like this one. It’s a good device for the GM to feed you clues and hooks.
This one’s not grabbing me. Instincts should be ‘instinctive’ and cover things that you (the player) don’t want to have to worry about in play. If your character faces a situation in the game–‘a problem’–aren’t you going to want to consider the options and decide what to do? And ‘technology, wealth, or underlings’ doesn’t really narrow down the response, does it? But I get the point–this is a character that acts through underlings first, before getting his hands dirty. So how about that:
Sample I2: Never get my hands dirty. (In play, this means when your character hires someone or some organization to do something, there’s always some level of ‘plausible deniability’ between him and the action. It becomes an additional Obstacle for anyone trying to trace the action back to its sponsor, your character.)
This seems ok, assuming you keep her. But thinking in modern terms, how do we keep our loved ones close? It’s really not possible to be together all the time. I suspect most people manage something like daily phone calls or other rituals. I guess that the purpose of the Instinct is so that if trouble finds the lover, it also finds the character. You might want to try something a little more ‘plausible’, such as:
Sample I3: Call my lover every day at lunch on the vidphone.
This way, when she gets into trouble (and she will) your character knows about it in a relatively short time and can act.
Thanks for the look at your concept. I hope to hear more of the campaign!
sorry, didn’t ignore your post, I was replying while you were Mel. I actuallly really like your take on my last instict. I might try rewriting it to:
Instinct 2) I will call my lover at least once a day.
Also, I think I like the conflict with the beliefs that was mentioned upthread. SO:
belief 2) I will move to Wealth, technology, citizens. From these are power forged (this is my partie’s political tagline as it were). I will use and abuse all three so i am ruling this world, regardless of the cost.
-Makes the character a little more hard edged than I was thinking, but I like it. Also it combo’s with 3 in a horrible horrible way.
How about?
The nobility is a valuable thing, but it’s not its place to rule. I will support them in this role, but I will crush all Nobles who attempt to rule.
Because of her realtionship with me my lover was disowned by her family, and is an outcaste from the lord’s pilot. She has suffered enough. I will use all my power and influcence to see she no one will hurt her again and she regains her rightful place.
Just shorten it up a bit. No need to include all the past history.
“She has suffered enough because of our relationship. I will do everything in my power to prevent further harm and see she regains her rightful place.”
Though, I’d suggest you focus on her regaining her rightful place first.
First you could try to get her back in good terms with the family. Then you could try with the pilots. Each time you achieve one of those goals you win your persona point!. Finally, you add the all encompassing “prevent further harm”, and keep that as an ongoing belief which you can milk for fate.
I’m just thinking that if you keep it as originally stated you’ll be missing out on additional fate & persona points.