Is This Character Cool?

This thread is a request for discerning eyes to let players know if the posted character is cool. Obviously you’ll think your own characters are cool, but sometimes it helps to be open to critiques and recommendations on what might make him cooler within the confines of the setting. And sometimes we might just be showboating the cool stuff we made;)

This is an NPC who will go back and forth with the group, sometimes ally, foil or foe.

Alabaster the White:

Belief: Peace is Worth Any Price
Instinct: Never Leave a Witness

Age: 30 Patrol Guard, Will: 4 Health: 4 Nature: 3
Nature: Mouse
Home: Lockhaven
Fur: White
Cloak: Black
Parents: Unclaimed
Mentor: Galbert
Friend: Malthus the Alchemist (Lockhaven)
Enemy: Greywood Nightwind (Copperwood)
Resources: 3 Circles: 3
Traits: Guard’s Honor, Albino

Fighter 6
Deciever 2
Insectrist 2
Scout 3
Pathfinder 3
Survivalist 3
Healer 2

Mouse Guard-Wise

Alabaster was abandoned at the gates of Lockhaven. In my setting Albinos are seen as bad omens but also possessed of some “secret power”, so they aren’t liked but few people mess with them out of fear. As always kids are the exception, poking things they shouldn’t with sticks, as a result Alabaster became something of a scrapper phenomenon. He was raised by the community acting as a paige until he was 14 when he became a Tenderfoot under Galbert. A few years later Galbert took him to Copperwood when word of a rebellion began to float around.
During the Journey Galbert took very sick. Alabaster found a place to stick him and carried on to Copperwood for help but interrupted the sermonizing of Greywood Nightwind, a would be Revolutionary. Greywood forbid the locals from helping Galbert so Alabaster warned him that terrible things would happen for slighting “the White”. The saavy Greywood laughed in Alabaster’s face so that night Alabaster used spider venom to poison Greywood’s family. Most were struck very ill but the youngest actually died.
The locals, fearful of bringing the curse of “the White” down on themselves quickly recovered Galbert and shunned the Nightwind family.
When Alabaster was selected for promotion Galbert asked him if he ever regretted his actions and after hearing his response chose black for the mouse’s cloak, to match the color of his heart.
Since then he and a few others operate as a secret police, putting down revolutionaries. When a deadly epidemic strikes he’s the one that torches the village. It’s horrible but to it’s the greater good.

Would the cool facter go up if he had Loremouse and Bat-wise and rode a Bat, or used one like a hang glider?

Any critique is welcome!

Hogarth Blackhelm aka Hober the Spear

Belief: Be My Own Mouse
Goal: Rob these mice!
Instinct: Always Keep Another Mouse a Spear’s Length Away

As an NPC he only needed Fighter 4, Persuader 4 and the Independent trait.

Hogarth had intended to follow in his father’s footsteps and lived his life to join the guard, however the year before he could enlist, his father Rutgar Blackhelm, a 20 year veteran of the Guard, retired from the guard and returned to his family and established a mercenary company called the Arms of Blackhelm, (they’ll feature prominently in the Blackrock Rebellion/Lockhaven’s Gambit story I’ll run in the future). Rutgar forbid Hogarth from enlisting, the two quarrelled and Hogarth agreed not to enlist but departed his family lands altogether (compromise!) He started going by the name Hober and earned his nickname from his weapon preference, though his true talent lay with the halberd as his father taught him.

Rutgar’s belief was “Family First and Always” though his Instinct was “Always Follow Orders”. When he was approached by Matriarch Testarossa’s successor, Ashleigh Tuckmouse about her Lockhaven’s Gambit plan he saw a way to finally unify the two.

Alabaster’s instinct needs to be focused a bit…

“Never leave a witness…” when? why? where? what?

Just put a condition on it. It’ll help a ton during play.

"Never leave a witness…

…when being selfish"
…after helping someone"
…if frightened"
…when being romantic"

There’s lots of ways you can go.

I think you missunderstand jeese. I think he’s saying never leave a witnesses when he’s on a mission. Like when he’s sneeking around and someone sees him, he kills them instead of nocking them out. Never leave witnesses behind. It could come back to haunt you. At least that’s what I thought of.