Keaton Cold

Keaton Cold

Early Life:

Young Keaton was raised by the Walmonds, two brother and sister gaurdsmice who were assigned to Frostic around the year 1120. They always told him that they had found him when he was a mouseling, but never how it happened. They also grew some resentment over the years towards the guard for assigning them to Frostic for so long without accepting there transfer requests. The years at the northern outpost hardened the mice and made them calloused and jaded with the guard, a trait that they also passed down to there young acolyte. They also taught him to read the signs of weather, and the skill of boat crafting. Throughout his time with them, he considered them as parents and were really the only people he new closely, do to always being stuck at Frostic and cut off from society. They took him on many adventures and realized he had a knack for survival in the cold northern wilderness even as a young mouse. The met their end one day, while he watched in fear as they were torn to pieces by angry starving gulls. Because of his stunned fear, which paralyzed him, he blamed himself for their death and promised himself that he would never be a slave to fear again. The only thing he kept to remember them y, was a notebook of weather observations and their longpipe which he had always been “to young to use.” He traveled alone to Rustleleaf, where he was taken in by a kind family. He grew especially close to a young girl in the family named Abigail who was an avid researcher in the ways of healing and the properties of strange herbs. He never showed interest in the art of healing itself as she did, although he did enjoy listening to her knowledge on various herbs and how they could be used for good and evil alike. She eventually set off for Lockhaven to further research the skills of healing and joined the guard against his will. He had a resentment towards the guard for the death of the Walmonds. He felt they had been abandoned by Gwendolyn and the rest of the guard.

Late Teen Years:

Keaton eventually decided he wanted to go it alone so he left Rustleleaf to live in the wild of the territories. He traveled from place to place, mainly around the area of Wolfpoint, and made home from time to time in his hermit cave. During his journeys in the wild he enjoyed the challenge of surviving winter and he learned how to stand his ground against animals and avoid them when necessary. He learned that cooking insects and small fowl for nourishment could really help you go a long way, but this act was always unpopular with the other mice in the territories. He had a lot of run-ins with a trapper mouse named Beagan. Keaton figured a fur was a fur and would help himself to the trappers successful trappings, until one day when the trapper trapped him and beat him senseless. In revenge, Keaton followed Beagan and overtook him in the night, stealing everything he owned and leaving the trapper bare-furred in the cold. That night the trapper swore to slay Keaton if he ever found him again. Keaton also did some trapping of his own, and learned how to trade, haggle and deceive other mice out of their money and possessions. Because of this, there are towns north-east in the territories that have banished him.

Early Guard Years:

Winters grew harsher, and Keaton grew tired of fighting for survival. He longed for warm meals and a roof over his head and protection from animals and his enemies. Soon the memory of his friend abigail drew him to Lockhaven, where he was assigned to Millicent the Insectrist who specialized in Insectrist enzymes from bugs and experimenting in new ways with coercing the bug for personal means. He learned much from her and she respected him as a student and recommended his as a tenderpaw in the guard. He was put under a mentor named Carn who showed a very keen likeness for Keaton. Carn taught him the was of hand to hand combat. Keaton learned how it could be graceful and brutal at the same time. By the next winter, Keaton was a guard mouse, and was given a cloak of charcoal from Carn to represent Keaton’s resilience and stoney demeanor.

Weasel Wars:

Keaton fought in the weasel wars under Carn. On one instance they raided an almost completely abandoned weasel camp. The camp was abandoned because a a brutal battle nearby and Keaton and Carn found a cache of weapons inside. Out of these weapons, Keaton claimed a skimitar-like sword, a small round shield, and a set of charcoal armor to match his cloak. Him and Carn also found a small litter of weasel ferret pups that had been left behind. They were amazed at the discovery, but quickly annihilated the rodents with their new weapons and later on, Keaton made a shoulder coat out of their soft fur. After the war, Keaton was advanced to the rank of guardmouse.

Keaton Now:

Write now Keaton is waiting to be assigned to a new patrol. Since the weasel war, Gwindolin has started investigations on many patrol leaders because they have been bringing a bad name to the guard and Carn is one of the patrol leaders that many of the guard distrust. Many Guardsmice have given Keaton the nickname of “Keaton Cold” due to his grim demeanor. Because of all Keaton has gone through, he’s always carried a bitterness in him and doesn’t really see a purpose to life. He believes mice live and die and their’s nothing more to it. But deep in his heart, he hopes there actually is more to it than that and is really discontent with the life that he’s living. He is a slender, white furred mouse.

His belief is: We live to die. Nothing matters.

His instinct is: Always be sure to keep my best intrests in mind.

Let the critiquing begin. I think people are gonna dislike my B&I. I don’t mind changing them if you have a better twist to 'em, but I think I can also defend them.

Um, shouldn’t this be on the online MG thread?

I linked it from there for people to read, but I thought I’d start a new thread incase people want to discuss my character. The other threads for discussing our online game, this one is for discussing my character. Feel free to start discussing him and how he relates to our online game on the online game thread.

I see. Okay then.

Very nice background, and very interesting. However, I think the Belief is too dark and the Instinct can be reworded to be clearer. Also, at 25 years, isn’t he a little too young to have experienced all of that?

Hm, let’s see.

His gardians died when he was about eight, he lived in Rustleleaf until he was about 17, lived in the wild until he was about 20, tenderpaw at about 22, guardmouse at about 25. Maybe I should tack a few more years on to make it more realistic. I’ll think about it.

Regarding belief: I want it to be very dark. Remember, they don’t always carry the same belief so it’s not permanit, but right now, he’s a very confused mouse who has been mentered by highly questionable mice throughout his life. It’ll be the GMs job to challenge that belief. What does everyone else think?

Instinct: You’re prolly right. I’ll think on how to reword it. Every situation he’s in, he instinctively looks for an exit if it’s dangerous, or a way to turn things to his personal favor and get something out of it. He’s an opertunist, but only for himself. How would I word all that susinctly?

Let me just reiterate. I want this character to be dark, very dark. You can’t servive for to long in the guard if you’re no good, so he’ll either cause big problems and be booted out, or maybe the other patrol mice will make a real mouse out of him being the first good influence on his life.

Hmm… I’m going with the assumption that mice grow, learn, and mature roughly like human beings, so… if they died when he was 8, then he’d be too young to really have learned anything of value from them. Time spent with Abigail seems fine, and by the time he’s 14-17, he’ll be good enough to understand poultices. However, 3 years in the wild is too short a time to “learn about the wild”, especially learning by experience. I’d guesstimate at least 5 years.

2 years of tenderpaw (a quarter of which was spent as an apprentice), then 3 more to make guardmouse seems fine (though I’d just make him spend just 2 years as a tenderpay then promote him to guard mouse on the third year).

So, I guess you’d need to add more years to his time spent before joining the Guard. Maybe make him a bit older before his parents die, that way the impact is greater and they’d have to have more chance to properly teach and brainwash him. Again, since he struck out in the wild by himself without proper training, I’m guessing he’d have to have spent more time to fully appreciate things.

The time spent in the Guard would then see a little more structure, since I don’t think the Guard considers any mouse with more than 8 seasons (2 years) of experience to still be a tenderpaw.

I see where you’re getting at with this dark mouse concept, but give me something to work with here. I’d like you to reword your Belief to give me a little light in the darkness, and reword your Instinct too so that I know exactly what you want (it seems kind of vague at the moment). No need to change the B&I completely, but just give me a little slack on the B and more focus on the I.

Belief: There is no purpose to the life of mice. We live, eat, and die. Mice who try to find purpose only find disapointment. Grand ideals and concepts such as honor and glory conflict with the natural desire to survive. We live to make it through the day, it matters not how but only that we survive.

I know it’s kind of confusing, but this character thinks there’s no point to life, but he still lives to survive. That is his only goal.

Instinct: Always take advantage of opertunities to garanty my personal safety. Always look for opertunities to better my predicament. I always look for ways to get what I want.

You can choose one of these or a combination. I realise it needs to be narrowed down because while “Always be sure to keep my best intrests in mind.” sounds good, it covers too much and would be too easy to play out.

Mainly I want to get two things across.

  1. He sees no purpose in life.
  2. He’s instinctively selfish.

Hope this helps.

Oh, it helps a lot! Hehehe… rubs hands together in glee

Hmm, not sure if I should be excited or afraid.

Be afraid! Be very afraid!!

Fix your age yet?

Yes actually, I settled for 29.

Hmmm… Yeah, that sounds about right. Care to adjust your “story” now to reflect the new age? Specifically, I’d suggest you dump the extra 4 years to the time he spent with his “parents,” that would give them more time to do the things you said and would make Keaton actually old enough to know and understand what’s happening around him.

I was just giving a ruff estimation. I don’t know exactly how much time he’s spent where. It’s left up to readers to guesstimate while they’re reading my character information.