One Shot

I am putting together a one shot for this weekend and wanted to get a bit of feedback. I’m not very far along yet, but wanted to make sure I was charting a good course. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Repelling the Goblins!

The players know little of the surrounding world and are relatively well insulated. The local Elven tribe has been mostly decimated by disease and the dwarven halls have collapsed and fallen into disrepair leaving this as the last major bastion of civilization. Lately, scouts have seen small bands of goblins moving in and amongst the forests and the mayor is concerned a full scale assault may occur. He bids you head west to small cavern (where his scouts believe the goblins are amassing) and deal with the threat.

A Ob 3 Orator/Persuader/Manipulator willl get the locals to offer better provisions and a guide.
Failure - Anger

The woods surrounding the area are dense and old. The guide leads you along an overgrown path, as you travel deeper, the sun can no longer penetrate the heavy cover and you're in Dim Light.
Ob 2 Laborer test would let you open the undergrowth, Ob 3 Pathfinder to chart a better course.
Failure – Exhaustion, loss of provisions, time passes and darkness falls. 

Getting closer to your destination, you begin to see signs of a struggle. There is the carcass of a wolf on the ground, along with scraps of a torn cloak and bag, and a lot of blood. (The guide points out a trail of blood that leads amongst some foliage and into a dark crevice.) 
Ob 2 tests for tracking or information will find the crevice. 
Failure – stumbles across some roots or into a jagged rock outcropping – Injured.
Ob 3 tests for information on the struggle will identify that a goblin and a wolf were attacked by something that left very 'boney' foot prints.
Failure - Anger

Entering the initial cavern you notice (your guide is visibly nervous, refusing to leave the entrance) the walls and floor of the cave are a smooth, hewn rock. Plenty of moss and mushrooms growing. There is the sound or dripping and running water as liquid comes through the rough of the cave, and drips to the floor. 
Toward the back of the cavern, the hewn rock gives way to an unusual, obviously carved orange stone. To the left, there is a rough cavernous passage leading down at a sharp angle. The water runs quickly down it, moss and mushrooms gathering along the edges. To the right, the carved orange stone gathers into a darkened hallway.
In the middle of the cavern is a larger wolf than what players saw outside. It is visibly injured and very agitated. (Using Dire Wolf stats  -1Might – If players try to drive it off, it refuses to go down the rough passage) Compromises – Injured, Sick (from something in its saliva), attacks and kills the guide on it's way out of the cave.

This looks really linear to me. Why don’t you run the house of 3 Squires?

Also, looking at this. You use a lot of conditions and not a lot of twists. I find that initial twists help players feel a bit more safe with the game since they see that failure only maes stuff more interesting. Right now, the only thing they see is that failure gives you conditions. That is not a good mix.
And yes, it looks really linear and doesn’t offer much choice.

What questions in general do you have with this? Have you read the adventure generation chapter?

A couple thoughts / items of feedback:

  1. If success gets the party something, make sure that has a benefit. For example, I don’t see any obstacle they avoid or bonus they gain as a result of successfully obtaining the guide.
  2. Are the failure results second test a choice, or all 3? All 3 seems very harsh.
  3. Injury is a pretty nasty condition. Are you sure you want to give it out so early and on such a minor test?
  4. Your Ob levels seem to be about right, assuming that the party has the full normal size. Don’t forget to drop the Ob if you have a smaller game group (i.e. 3 players instead of 5). You can assume that so far in the adventure, you’ve probably go 2 angry PCs, at least, an possibly someone with a more severe condition (Exhausted or Injured).
  5. Your wolf is a decent warm-up fight to get the mechanics down. Just bear in mind that it will probably not a huge challenge for a normal party (5D vs ~6D).

Thanks for the feedback.

First - I will admit it’s very linear at this point. Once they get deeper into the complex they will find a group of goblins who are afraid of some undead force they discovered in the basement. As a result, they have been fleeing into the area around the village and causing issues. If they come across the goblins at the right time, they may be able to strike a bargain, or kill them and loot the lower crypt for themselves.

I am also purposefully avoiding 3 Squires as their are two of us in the group running games, and one guy is running 3 Squires. I also intend to do a campaign soon and want to experience developing an adventure.

My listing of failures might also just be shorter in explanation than would really occur. Every one of them represents moving forward, but with a condition/twist. Say you fail the Pathfinder, you find the crevice that you’re looking for, but may spend too much time in the woods and end up searching in the dark.

Good thought about making sure success gives them something though! And I will def pay attention to group size as we may have 3-4.